Why Schnauzers are The Worst Dogs EVER

Schnauzers are one of the worst breeds of dogs you can own (we’re looking at you too, Miniature Schnauzer). The little tyrants were originally bred to guard and herd cattle, and we’d have all been better off if they had just stayed with the cows.

If you have a loved one considering Schnauzer ownership or are currently considering getting one as a family pet, we hope this article helps talk you out of getting one of these loud, stinky, barking machines.

That Annoying Bark

Schnauzers are just the worst dogs

Schnauzers are notorious for their excessive barking habit. THEY BARK ALL THE TIME – whether it’s a warning, an alert, or just to express their happiness.

Unfortunately, this incessant barking can be more than just annoying; it can also be highly disruptive, especially in residential neighborhoods. The bark of a Schnauzer is loud, shrill, and often difficult to ignore.

The Standard and Giant Schnauzers have an annoying bark, but we have to give a special shoutout to the Miniature, as its bark is particularly soul-piercing. Press the play button below and listen for yourself:

We will begrudgingly admit that Schnauzers make good guard dogs. That bark will pull anyone from their sleep. The only problem is that it’s for nothing 99% of the time.


Get a Schnauzer if you love planting grass seed and filling in holes.

Schnauzers love to dig – a lot. Whether it’s your yard, the garden, or even your couch cushions, they will find something they want to sink their teeth into and start digging.

This behavior can not only be annoying but also destructive if left unchecked. Schnauzers are the WORST.


Upholsterers love Schnauzers

Schnauzers are known to be “prolific chewers”. Really, they’re destructive chomp goblines – if they find something that interests them, they won’t hesitate to put their teeth into it.

Some of their favorite things to destroy include furniture, books, toys, and even shoes! So if you have a Schnauzer in your home, be sure to put everything up high. On the bright side, if you have a kid, they’ll learn real quick to put their toys up!


Schnauzers are moderate shedders. But, since they love to spend all day laying on all of your favorite comfy spots, they’ll be covered in gross wiry hairs.

Even if you brush them all the time, be prepared for a dog with a lot of dandruff.

Health Problems

She’s smiling because he’s leaving.

Schnauzers are also prone to a variety of health problems including hip dysplasia and skin issues. They also tend to be more susceptible to ear infections due to their ugly, thick, floppy ears.

Even if you don’t take them to the vet, the average cost of keeping a Schnauzer is about $2605 a year (source). You can rent a nice beach condo for a week for that kind of money.

And don’t forget, if you ever do want to go somewhere, you’ll have to pay to have your dog boarded since none of your friends would want to take your four-legged hate machine.


Schnauzers require a lot of grooming to stay looking their best. This includes regular brushing, clipping, and trimming of their fur.

You should expect to groom a Schnauzer several times a week in order to keep its coat looking good.

They also need regular baths to keep their coat clean and free from dirt. All this requires time, money, and effort – something that not all pet owners are willing to commit to.

If you don’t make this grooming commitment, your Schnauzer will become a smelly, dandruff-coated, matted-up, mangy nightmare.

They’re Aggressive Dogs

Schnauzers can display aggressive behaviors, and this is largely due to their original purpose as guard dogs. They are naturally protective of their owners and can become territorial if they sense a threat or feel that their home and family are in danger.

This aggression can manifest itself in various ways, such as barking (so much barking), growling, or even biting. Therefore, it is important to train and socialize your Schnauzer as early as possible in order to reduce the likelihood of any aggressive behaviors.


Are Schnauzers good dogs? NO! They’re stinky, barking, little hate machines that eventually drive even the nicest of dog owners crazy.

Schnauzers require a ton of stimulation, or they get into all kinds of trouble. And Schnauzers are expensive to own.

We hope you enjoyed this article. We had fun writing it. Schnauzers are wonderful dogs and can make a fine pet.